The Paths We Take

It's hard to believe that it was exactly a year ago that my life took an unexpected and drastic twist. I was happily working at my first big-kid job in Dallas when I was suddenly laid off. WHAT?? I mean, seriously - my first job. 2012 was a year - let me tell you. And this was the cherry on top of an incredibly heinous year.

I remember going home that night and just thinking, "What in the world do I do now?" I had no clue where to start. I was so confused. I couldn't stop crying. I had a few, "Why me?" moments. And so Heavenly Father and I had MANY conversations about why it was happening to me.

And I was mostly really sad. I felt ashamed. I didn't want anyone to know. I felt like a failure. I couldn't even keep my first job. What did that mean I was meant to do? Was I not as capable as I thought I was? I felt like I was a huge disappointment - to my parents, my professors, my former co-workers. Etc., etc., etc. There was a lot of self-doubt going on.

But looking back I see how blessed my life has been because Heavenly Father redirected my path. I'm a planner and I usually don't do well with subtle promptings to make changes in my life, so Heavenly Father has to go to the extremes with me. I LOVED my job, but because of that, I was leaving hardly any time for anything else. Yes, I was happy. But I could have been even happier. I didn't fully understand what I was missing out on.

So even in the 6 months of job-searching (which was grueling and awful and I'm so glad it's over), I was SO happy. Because I had been forced to re-prioritize my life. I was doing the things I should have been doing all along and it was making all the difference in the world.

I had the opportunity to meet people and develop relationships and learn things about myself that I never would have if Heavenly Father had allowed me to continue down the path I was on. So while it was hard and depressing and wearing at times, I'm so grateful that I got knocked down a little bit. That I was humbled so that I learned to rely on my Heavenly Father again. That I was given the opportunity to become teachable. And trust me - I took the opportunity to learn all the lessons in store for me.

Nobody really WANTS trials and tribulations in their life, but they are necessary for our growth and development. God loves us so he allows things to happen in our lives for us to become better versions of ourselves. I couldn't be more grateful for the gospel in my life that allows me to have that perspective and for church leaders, parents, friends, etc. that help me through the trials in my life.

2012 sucked. 2013 has been awesome. And I cannot wait to see what 2014 has in store.

Santa's Coming! I Know Him!

As soon as November 1st hits, this is pretty much what happens to me:

It's time for Christmas, it's time for Christmas, IT'S TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!

All I want to do is bake delicious things - with apples and pumpkin and all the most unhealthy foods you can imagine.

And the answer is yes. I have already started listening to my Christmas playlist - and I'm not ashamed to say it!!!! (If you find you have problems making it through your days - Christmas playlists will work wonders in your life. Srsly.)

I also turn into this shopping monster (yes, worse than the rest of the year) because I LOVE buying Christmas presents!

But come on - this is SERIOUSLY the greatest time of the year. With the parades and the lights and the trees and the weather and the coats and scarves and boots and gloves. OH MY GOSH. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. To those of you who don't feel the same way....

And to all the rest of you - I know it's only November and we still have one more holiday to go (I do also love Thanksgiving for the record) but....

 Santa is real, y'all. 

Feelings.

I'm not sure what's going on. I'm just feeling a lot lately.

I feel like everyone is married but me...

But I also feel really happy. Because I love love.

And I also love fall - so that makes me happy too.

But sometimes I still find myself crying about the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times...

And one of two things happen when I start to feel sad...

#1:

#2:

Is this what happens when you get older? No one warned me about this... This sucks.

Syncin.

This is my new favorite game. Srsly friends, this is going to happen at some point in the near future. Also, I love this video for several reasons.

#1: I have a big crush on Jimmy Fallon.

 

#2: JGL's suit is FAB.

#3: It reminds me of when John Krasinski and Jimmy had their lip sync-off (click here).

#4: "Take on Me" is one of my all-time fave 80s jams.

#5: JGL doing "Super Bass" at the end - 'nuff said.

25.

OMG. I've totes been alive for a quarter of a century. This is how I feel about that.

I am as old as America's Most Wanted.

 I can rent a car! Without having to sacrifice my firstborn child to the rental car company.

My senior year of high school was 7 years ago.

25 is really the perfect age - mathematically speaking.

I officially leave the 18-24 demographic behind. Now I'm 25-34.

 But the good news is that I'm still one of the youngest of all my friends! At least I've got that going for me.

So I suffer from a sort of conflict of emotions. No, but in all seriousness, I kind of like being 25. It sounds cool. I still feel young. And I get cool gifts for my birthday like vacuums and blenders.

Hell.

There is - I am certain - a special circle in Hell to which all of the bobby pins and earring backs I've ever dropped disappear to.

No, but like, seriously... where do they go?

Video Splurge

A little bit of "New Music Tuesday" mixed with a random bit I want to share with you.

Let's start with the rando video. Because it's my favorite.

And I'm going to be TOTALLY honest here. When I watched this, I literally teared up with jealousy. Embarrassing? Yes. True? Also, yes. I want to be these people!!! Killer whales are BEAUTIFUL. I mean, come on. Look.

Now for new music.

This song makes me even more excited for Catching Fire. Coldplay + Hunger Games = Amazeballs.

I hate that I love this new song from Miley. But I do. 

Also, Drake has yet again released a song that makes me just want to drive around in my car all day with the windows down. Bless/curse you, Drake.

Thought Vomit

Things I have experienced/thought about today:

While I was driving, I passed an SUV that had those annoying family stickers on the back window. You know the ones...

Besides the fact that I REALLY despise those things (they ruin perfectly good cars - and who wants total strangers to know how many kids you have and that you have a baby with you??), this one was more interesting than most. There was no "Dad" sticker, but there was an outline where there had clearly been one before.

Divorce is real. Ouch.

Then, I was out for a walk tonight after work, and I passed a hot dog on the ground that someone had clearly abandoned and thrown out their window. Covered in ants. And I thought to myself, wouldn't it be an awesome joke to pick that up, rinse off the ants, and fix it for someone to eat? And then I thought, WHO THINKS THINGS LIKE THAT?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? 

And then lastly, while out on the same walk, I got honked at a few times by complete strangers. Let me just tell you something, creepers. That is neither flattering nor endearing. It's weird and it makes people uncomfortable. So, stop it. Please. On behalf of all of us you've ever made feel like our lives are at risk.

That is all.

Sorted

After years of debating - I decided to finally get sorted on Pottermore. I was terrified. After all, what if I got put in Slytherin? Or worse - Hufflepuff.

The verdict?

Yup. I'm a Ravenclaw. Me and Luna Lovegood are going to be BFFs. Aw yeah.

Counselor Anxiety

One day you might find yourself sitting by me at church and hear me utter these words while I shift uncomfortably: "I have counselor anxiety." And you'll wonder to yourself, "What is counselor anxiety?"

Here it is.

counselor anxiety
/ˈkouns(ə)lər/aNGˈzī-itē/
noun

(1)A moment of stress brought on by any action which reminds a person of being surrounded by 30 fifteen-year-olds (2) A feeling of uncomfortableness created when someone is talking who shouldn't be (3) PTSD for EFY counselors

Let me apply this into real-world scenarios for you.

The False Doctrine Scenario: When I'm sitting in sacrament meeting and someone bears their testimony about something that is not remotely part of our taught gospel.

 The Oversharer Scenario: When "that person" in your ward decides to tell you about their most-recent foray into the darkest depths of sin. Or about their latest breakup. Or their familial issues. Nope. No one ever wants to hear all that at church. EVER. Trust me. Church is not the time to share your diary entries.

The "Oh-My-Gosh-the-People-Behind-Me-Won't-Stop-Talking" Scenario: As an EFY counselor, we'd just turn around and tell them to shut up. Because we had that kind of authority. When it's people your own age, this usually happens:

How about one last example for you?

The Bad Teacher Scenario: Let's be honest, some teachers are just really uncomfortable. Like that teacher who has nothing positive to say (the word gospel does mean "good news," right?). Or that teacher who thinks their lesson is actually a talk. Or the one who forces their own personal opinion onto you ("The gospel according to ____").

And I KNOW you've all felt one or all of these things before - so don't judge me. Just because I have a term for the feeling.

You Make Me Wanna Roll My Windows Down and Cruise

Coming back from vacation is the WORST. But mostly for all of you - because now you have to look at my pictures and become insanely jealous.

Prepare to be green with envy (and even more so when you see the rest of the pics on Facebook).

So, Sunday we got on the boat in New Orleans:

And then Monday I soaked up some sun on the Sun Deck:

Tuesday was more of the same:

Then Wednesday was our first stop in Roatan, Honduras. We went zip-lining and then soaked up some rays on the beach.

Thursday and Friday's activities were a little dangerous to take pictures of in-the-moment (cave tubing in Belize and ATVing in Cozumel), but I did get a pic afterwards to reflect both days:

Saturday it was back on the boat to return to New Orleans. And it was raining - so no laying out for us. (Sucked. I wanted to go out with a bang.)

And then Sunday we packed up our bags and got off the ship in New Orleans:

And that's it. That was our cruise. Jealous yet?

Fat Kid

Last night I couldn't decide between a cinnamon roll and ice cream, so I had both. That was after demolishing my burrito bowl from Chipotle. With chips and guac. Sometimes I eat my feelings...

 

And I don't know whether I should feel relieved or ashamed that Louis C.K. totally understands and relates to how I feel.